22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. -Ephesians 5:22-24 Bible, King James Version (KJV)
Swedenborg reveals how Dutch spirits after death are taught not to dominate their partners.
Last Judgment Posthumous, by Emanuel Swedenborg, [1762], tr. by John Whitehead [1914], at sacred-texts.com
THE DUTCH. They are quite clear-sighted, and remain constantly in their own religion; not receding unless altogether convinced... Their light appears more obscure, because their spiritual light is conjoined with natural light...
19.
19.
I was in the spirit, and it was then granted me to wander through a rather distinguished city, in which were Dutch...
[21] In their cities, the men dwell at one side of the city, and the women at the other: and when the men desire, they send to them, and the women come; who are indignant at this, that they are thus to come at the command of the man. And they who in the world had ruled over their husbands, when the like is not given them, being kindled with indignation, wish to go out of the city. They are also sent out; but when they are outside of the city, there appears to them everywhere some obstruction and closure, now marshy, now watery, now something else. Thus they wander, and for a long time seek for places of getting away, and this even to fatigue: wherefore they are compelled to return into the city; and they enter their house, and so are amended. The reason is, that the desire of ruling in marriage takes away conjugial [marital] love; which increases with a consort as the love of ruling decreases. In place of this then comes love, and with love enjoyment of life; and then neither the man nor the wife, but the Lord, rules: hence is happiness in marriages...
[281] THE DUTCH. How formally and courteously they invite their wives and bring and lead them to their house, and show how well it is with those who act together in unity in their houses, and also how clean and well furnished their houses are; and on the contrary how unclean those are where there is the dominion of one over the other; savory food is also given those who act in unity... Therefore when they see those things and apperceive them to be true they desist from dominion; and then they obtain a habitation nearer to the middle, and are led into a house better furnished. The reason is that there is then conjugial [or marital] love, which regarded in itself is celestial love itself.
Heaven and Hell, by Emanuel Swedenborg, [1758], tr. by John C. Ager [1900] at sacred-texts.com
The love of dominion of one over the other entirely takes away marriage love and its heavenly delight, for as has been said above, marriage love and its delight consists in the will of one being that of the other, and this mutually and reciprocally. This is destroyed by love of dominion in marriage, since he that domineers wishes his will alone to be in the other, and nothing of the other's will to be reciprocally in himself, which destroys all mutuality, and thus all sharing of any love and its delight one with the other. And yet this sharing and consequent conjunction are the interior delight itself that is called blessedness in marriage. This blessedness, with everything that is heavenly and spiritual in marriage love, is so completely extinguished by love of dominion as to destroy even all knowledge of it; and if that love were referred to it would be held in such contempt that any mention of blessedness from that source would excite either laughter or anger. [2] When one wills or loves what the other wills or loves each has freedom, since all freedom is from love; but where there is dominion no one has freedom; one is a servant, and the other who rules is also a servant, for he is led as a servant by the lust of ruling. But all this is wholly beyond the comprehension of one who does not know what the freedom of heavenly love is. Nevertheless from what has been said above about the origin and essence of marriage love it can be seen that so far as dominion enters, minds are not united but divided. Dominion subjugates, and a subjugated mind has either no will or an opposing will. If it has no will it has also no love; and if it has an opposing will there is hatred in place of love. [3] The interiors of those who live in such marriage are in mutual collision and strife, as two opposites are wont to be, however their exteriors may be restrained and kept quiet for the sake of tranquillity. The collision and antagonism of the interiors of such are disclosed after their death, when commonly they come together and fight like enemies and tear each other; for they then act in accordance with the state of the interiors. Frequently I have been permitted to see them fighting and tearing one another, sometimes with great vengeance and cruelty. For in the other life everyone's interiors are set at liberty; and they are no longer restrained by outward bounds or by worldly considerations, everyone then being just such as he is interiorly.
The love of dominion of one over the other entirely takes away marriage love and its heavenly delight, for as has been said above, marriage love and its delight consists in the will of one being that of the other, and this mutually and reciprocally. This is destroyed by love of dominion in marriage, since he that domineers wishes his will alone to be in the other, and nothing of the other's will to be reciprocally in himself, which destroys all mutuality, and thus all sharing of any love and its delight one with the other. And yet this sharing and consequent conjunction are the interior delight itself that is called blessedness in marriage. This blessedness, with everything that is heavenly and spiritual in marriage love, is so completely extinguished by love of dominion as to destroy even all knowledge of it; and if that love were referred to it would be held in such contempt that any mention of blessedness from that source would excite either laughter or anger. [2] When one wills or loves what the other wills or loves each has freedom, since all freedom is from love; but where there is dominion no one has freedom; one is a servant, and the other who rules is also a servant, for he is led as a servant by the lust of ruling. But all this is wholly beyond the comprehension of one who does not know what the freedom of heavenly love is. Nevertheless from what has been said above about the origin and essence of marriage love it can be seen that so far as dominion enters, minds are not united but divided. Dominion subjugates, and a subjugated mind has either no will or an opposing will. If it has no will it has also no love; and if it has an opposing will there is hatred in place of love. [3] The interiors of those who live in such marriage are in mutual collision and strife, as two opposites are wont to be, however their exteriors may be restrained and kept quiet for the sake of tranquillity. The collision and antagonism of the interiors of such are disclosed after their death, when commonly they come together and fight like enemies and tear each other; for they then act in accordance with the state of the interiors. Frequently I have been permitted to see them fighting and tearing one another, sometimes with great vengeance and cruelty. For in the other life everyone's interiors are set at liberty; and they are no longer restrained by outward bounds or by worldly considerations, everyone then being just such as he is interiorly.
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